


you're gonna be wounded. you're gonna be my wound

by poor_guys_headisspinning



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Thunderstorms, Trans Male Character, once again spot is trans sorry :/, soft!sprace, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 12:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11532651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poor_guys_headisspinning/pseuds/poor_guys_headisspinning
Summary: Spot leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm right here," he whispered. "We'll get through this together. Nothing's gonna hurt you. You're not alone. I'm here."He rested their foreheads together. Race felt almost feverish. Spot was proud of him for acting as calm as he was, but it was clear he was really worked up. He kissed Race again right as there was a huge crash of thunder. Race cried out softly against his lips and pressed harder. He ripped his hands away from the wall and grabbed Spot's hips. He held them tightly and moved his mouth against Spot's.~Race doesn't like thunder. Neither does Spot, but he's got more important things to worry about.





	you're gonna be wounded. you're gonna be my wound

**Author's Note:**

> it stormed 3 times last week so I wrote this?  
> title is from "the word of your body" from spring awakening!  
> ((shoutout to Imnotweirdjustwriting for being somewhat the inspiration for this? her thunderstorm fic series is amazing you need to check it out))

When Race jerked awake, he was acutely aware of a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist. He froze, panic making his mind blank. Who the  _ hell _ was holding him?

Lightning flashed and he frantically tried to escape from the arms. He needed to be alone when the thunder hit. He would lash out otherwise.

Thunder crashed, loud and sharp, and Race bit his lip and dug his nails into his arms. He needed to get away. The arms suddenly released him, and the person sat up quickly.

"Race?" a quiet voice whispered. Spot. Right. Race was spending night at Spot's.

Finally free from Spot's embrace, Race shot up and backed up until he was against the wall.

"Race? You okay?" Spot asked, insistent. He moved closer to Race.

Race shook his head forcefully. "Don't come closer."

Spot immediately stopped moving. "What can I do to help?"

Thunder crashed again, and Race dug his nails in deeper. He shook his head again. Spot couldn't do anything to help. "Get away from me. I don't want to hurt you."

Lightning illuminated them. Spot's dark eyes were wide and full of worry. Race's blue ones were bright with held back tears and panic was altering their usual clarity. Spot's gaze fell on Race's arms, and he reached forward to grab Race's hands and pull them away. There were red crescent shaped indents where his nails had been.

"Jesus, Race," Spot whispered, still holding Race's wrists. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

Race looked down and mumbled something incoherent. Spot crawled closer. "What did you just say?"

Race looked up right as the thunder hit. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and squeezed Spot's hands too tightly for it to not be painful. He shook his head.

"Race." Spot spoke with quiet urgency. "What did you say?"

"That's the  _ point, _ " Race repeated. He tried to tug his hands away from Spot, but Spot held on tight. "Let go."

"No. I'm not letting you hurt yourself."

"Let  _ go, _ " Race almost growled. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't," Spot said simply. As if Race had a choice. Race wiped his bleeding lip on his pants and hid his head on his knees. Spot slowly moved his hands so his fingers were laced between Race's. Race held on tightly and tried not to shake.

"Talk to me, Race. How can I help?" Spot's voice was gentle and he was stroking Race's hands slightly in his.

Thunder crashed and Race's nails dug into Spot's hands on instinct. Spot tried not to wince, but Race had pressed hard.

Race looked up at the feeling of Spot's hands tensing. He ripped his hands away and grabbed his arms again.

"Race-" Spot started. Race cut him off.

"I'm not gonna fucking hurt you. Leave me alone, Spot."

"I'm not leaving you. You need my help. Let me." Spot reached forward again and took Race by the hands. "What'll make this better?"

"Music," Race mumbled. "If I can't hear it then it's not as bad."

Spot nodded. "Music. Okay. Give me two seconds I'll grab my phone and headphones for you." He let go of Race and turned to his bedside table. He picked up a pair of headphones and quickly yanked his phone off of the charger. He plugged the headphones in and unlocked his phone, immediately pulling up his and Race's playlist on Spotify. He handed them to Race and hit shuffle as Race put the headphones into his ears.

Race was still against the wall with his knees pulled to his chest. Spot gently coaxed Race's legs down so they were flat on the bed. He slowly climbed on top of Race, hoping to comfort him with the closeness. Race didn't object or push him off, so Spot wrapped his legs around Race's waist and leaned in. He unlaced their hands and pushed them so Race's were flat between the wall and Spot's hands. This way Race wouldn't be able to hurt either of them.

Spot looked at Race, who was trying to regulate his breathing.

Lightning flashed and Race flinched on instinct, his hands struggling to move away from the wall. Spot pressed them tightly, making sure Race couldn't hurt himself. Race scrunched his face up and a few tears escaped from his closed eyes. Thunder rumbled and Race whimpered softly.

Spot leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "I'm right here," he whispered. "We'll get through this together. Nothing's gonna hurt you. You're not alone. I'm here."

He rested their foreheads together. Race felt almost feverish. Spot was proud of him for acting as calm as he was, but it was clear he was really worked up. He kissed Race again right as there was a huge crash of thunder. Race cried out softly against his lips and pressed harder. He ripped his hands away from the wall and grabbed Spot's hips. He held them tightly and moved his mouth against Spot's.

Spot reciprocated, not about to complain about the mood shift. Whatever Race needed, he would do. The kissing was just an added bonus.

Spot moved his hands up to tangle in Race's hair. He stroked the soft blond curls as he kissed Race, hoping to make him forget about the storm.

Lightning flashed against their closed lids and Race held Spot's hips tighter. His grip was probably strong enough to bruise, but Spot was grounding him, so he focused instead on Race's lips and deepened the kiss.

The next hit of thunder was intense enough to make the house shake slightly. Race dug his nails into Spot's sides and bit down hard on his lip. Spot, not expecting it, gasped and pulled on Race's hair.

Race immediately pulled back and let go of Spot. He pressed his nails into his palms and looked down, eyes blurry with tears threatening to spill.

"Shit," he whispered. " _ Fuck. _ " Why did he have to do that? All he'd done was hurt Spot. He shrunk down and pressed harder.

Spot took Race's hands and unfolded them. "Stop that. Don't hurt yourself."

Race dropped his head onto Spot's shoulder. He started shaking. "I hurt you, Spot. I told myself I wouldn't hurt you, but I fucking did. I'm sorry. Shit, I'm so sorry."

Spot leaned in to kiss Race again. Race recoiled in fear.

"Race, I'm fine. That didn't hurt much. You're scared, I get that. Your instinct is to lash out. That's fine. I know you don't mean it, so it doesn't hurt. You could never hurt me."

"I bit your lip, Spot."

"So? You do that all the time," Spot joked.

"This is different," Race mumbled into Spot's shoulder.

"How is it different? We were kissing, and you bit my lip. Sounds like what we do every day." Spot tried to comfort Race with a light tone.

"I do that on purpose. This was an accident. I bit too hard. I hurt you."

"You didn't," Spot insisted. "My priority right now is you. I want you to be okay. You can do whatever you need. I want to help in any way I can. If that means you kiss me and it's a little rough, that's fine. If that means you don't want to kiss me, that's fine. Anything is fine as long as it doesn't involve you hurting yourself. Okay?"

As thunder rumbled again, Race lunged forward and kissed Spot again as an answer. His hands moved to Spot's waist and his fingers brushed against the bare skin underneath his shirt. Spot tensed, but kissed back and nodded slightly. If this was what Race needed, he would be fine. Race ran his hands over Spot's stomach, disregarding any scars or imperfections he passed. He didn't care about that; he just needed to feel Spot and remind himself this was real and he would be okay. Spot's skin was warm and soft and he pressed his palms flat against it as more lightning illuminated the room. Spot's breath halted and Race moved his lips down to his neck. Spot tilted his head back to give Race better access. Race traced across Spot's ribs as he bit down softly and sucked a small mark on Spot's neck. Spot made a quiet noise and grabbed Race's arms. Race moved his lips down and made another mark, this time closer to Spot's collarbone.

A loud crash caused Race's teeth to dig in harder, but Spot just held on to Race's arms and pulled him closer. Race's hands continued exploring Spot's stomach under his shirt. He brushed past Spot's waist to feel the tense muscles on his warm back. He traced down Spot's spine, making him shiver.

Race withdrew his hands and grabbed at Spot's chin, kissing him desperately. Their teeth clashed slightly and Race moved one hand to the back of Spot's neck to hold him there. He whimpered softly into Spot's open mouth and Spot wrapped his arms around Race's waist and pressed their bodies together.

The door opened slowly, but neither of them noticed. "Spot?" Jack whispered. "You okay? I know you don't like how loud th-"

Jack cut off as a flash of lightning showed him Race devouring Spot's face. Spot pulled away noisily and looked at his brother. "What, Jack?"

Jack shook his head and started backing out of the room. "Never mind," he replied, voice slightly higher than usual. "You're clearly fine."

The door closed, and Spot looked back at Race. After a moment's pause, they both started laughing. Spot kissed Race's lips softly and coaxed him so they were laying down facing each other.

They just stared at each other for a while, grinning and holding each other close as the storm faded. A look of confusion crossed his face.

"Did Jack say you don't like thunder?" he whispered. Spot nodded. "What the fuck, Spot? Why didn't you say something?"

"I didn't really notice it," Spot admitted. "I was so focused on you that I wasn't processing the noise. You were more important than being scared."

"What the fuck," Race repeated.

"Shut up."

There was another long pause. Spot was resting a hand on Race's face and smiling softly. Race fidgeted with the hem of Spot's shirt while he thought of how to say what he wanted to.

"Can I..." He hesitated. "Can I see them? Your scars? You know I won't judge you for them."

"Race..." Spot whispered. He trailed his hand down Race's arm and laced their fingers together.

"You don't have to be ashamed of them. You should be proud," Race whispered, leaning forward to kiss Spot on the nose.

"I'm not ashamed," Spot protested. "They're just not healed yet. They're big and I don't want people to look at me like I'm weird."

Race grabbed Spot's chin and looked him in the eyes. "Spot. You know I'd never do that. You don't have to show me if you're not comfortable with it, but I'd love to see them."

Spot sighed, then rolled so he was on his back. He pulled Race on top of him. "Okay. Just... don't make it a big deal." He took a deep breath and pulled his shirt up.

Race stared down at Spot's chest in wonder. He moved his right hand up to lightly trace the two pink scars on Spot's chest.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed out. Spot blushed and started to push his shirt back down, but Race kept it at his shoulders. "Spot, I'm serious. You're gorgeous. You're so incredibly handsome."  _ I love you. _

Spot grabbed Race and twisted so he was on top instead. "I said I didn't want you making big deal of it," he mumbled. "It's not a big deal, Race."

Race stared up at Spot, adoration in his gaze. "Spot, I can't not make a big deal about it.  _ You're _ a big deal. It's exciting."

Spot dropped his head down and kissed Race roughly. Race reciprocated gladly, running his hands over Spot's still exposed chest and back.

Spot pulled back and fell beside Race. "It's like 4 am, Race. Go to bed."

"You're still awake, too," Race pointed out.

Spot smiled and cuddled up next to him. "Shut up, idiot." He wrapped his arms around Race's waist again. "Is this still okay?"

Race nodded and turned his head to kiss Spot's cheek. "Yeah, I'm good now. Thanks for asking."

Spot tightened his arms and closed his eyes, moving into the warmth of Race. He sighed contentedly and kissed the back of Race's neck. "Goodnight, Race."

Race held Spot's hand and squeezed it. "'Night, Spot."

There was a comfortable silence as they both drifted to sleep. Then Race shifted slightly and held Spot closer.

"Spo'?" he whispered, just barely conscious. Spot hummed quietly in response. "Jus' wanna say before I sleep. You's really brave, y'know? Just, you're so brave. I like you a lot. That's it. Goodnight."

Spot grinned and blushed, glad Race couldn't see him. He buried his head in Race's shirt. "I like you too, Race."

**Author's Note:**

> -sorry I didn't update now I'm learning what is true depression has been kicking my ass and I've had exactly zero inspiration for it in actually a week so I'm taking a small break from it to figure myself out and get excited again  
> on to this fic!  
> -I adore trans spot he's my best boy  
> -the soft stuff?? so soft it cleansed my soul I love soft sprace  
> -in my mind this is in the same universe as the infomercial title fics maybe a month or two after that? it can be read alone but I think it's a continuation of sprace from that  
> -comments and kudos are always appreciated!! I love reading comments you're all so kind and good


End file.
